There Be Dragons

Everything unknown
Occasion shudders.
Not just next year
Month
Week or day
But there is
A certain uncertainty
Pregnant in my next breath.

Please do not misunderstand.
I am not a “Scare-de-cat.”
I tend to run to the roar
And have requisite scars
As proof.

Those who gird up their loins
In anticipation of danger
Will testify.

Tomorrow is less mysterious
Than the next moment.

The stench and tang
Of a burning fuse
Is more frightful
Than the detonation to follow.

You must trust me on this.

The step into midair
From a lofty precipice
Is far more disturbing
Than the tumble to follow.

There must be science to this phenomena.

I track everything dangerous.
I make myself aware
Of probable pain
In any denomination.
But most things perilous
Remain hidden
Veiled
And cannot be marked
Or pegged as a hazard.

It has always been thus.

I warn you
Fellow traveler
I caution you
Fellow pilgrim.
Heed me.

Beyond here there be dragons.

Endure the Thunder

Thunder
When distant
Sounds like artillery.

Lightening
Within cloud tops
Is as detonation.

Reverberations echo
Not only roof to roof
Alley to alley
But cell to cell
Corpuscle to corpuscle.

The footfalls
Against concrete
Are those of playing teens
But they sound like Taliban.

I get it.

You sit across from me
Trembling
Hoping I not think you weak.
Eyes in your lap
Upon your folded hands
You pray there is some way
For you
To live
Away from the terror.

Of course there is none.

Son
The path you must forge
Is through the carnage
Not around it.
But I will go with you.

Together we will endure the thunder.

An Old Rebel

I am an old rebel
And recalcitrant at that.
I have no will
No compelling motive
To conform to your standard
To do it your way.

If I can find a path
Around you
I’ll take it.
If there is no way
I’ll forge one.
If I cannot bypass you
I will go through you.

Let me be clear:
I need no stated reason
To rebel.
Rebellion is not only
What I do
It is who I am.

I am the one
With clenched fist
Against the dawn.

I am he
Weeping bitterly
Who cries aloud in protest
Because I do not accept
Nor will bend my knee
To your reason
And carefully constructed
Explanations.

I am a rebel.
I was born a rebel.
I will die a rebel.
When I do
Do not bury me in your quiet
Little bone yard.

Cast my carcass in the tide
That every day
All night long
Until the very last
I may wash up on your shore
To ever remind you
I will never go away.

Last Night the Moon Rose

Last night the moon rose
Fair and pale
Delicate
Beautiful.
It fixed
Gazing silently
Serene.

I wonder
Did you see it?

Did its soft light
Fall upon you
And did your thoughts return
To our long ago embrace
Below its lunar marvel?

It was witness
To our kisses
And the bond of our union.
Every frozen mar
Upon its alabaster skin
Is now as then.
Nothing has changed.

But you have changed.

I wonder
Did you see the moon
When it rose last night?

The Grace in Her

She was patient.
No prodding.
No urgency.
No demand.
No tapping fingertips.
No exasperated sighs.

She was a Sunday morning.
Patient
Kind
Welcoming.

Her every expression exuded gentleness.
We gave time
To soft conversation
Our fingers entwined.

She never asked my trust
Although every moment with her
Chipped at my defenses
Until one day
I knew she had closed the distance
Between myself and her
Between myself and a woman.

I had been hurt
Deeply
Keenly
Vowing to never again trust
To never again love.

But I needed someone.
I needed her.

Trust was the massive barrier
Separating us.
Finally her kindness
Her patience
Won me.

My soul is healed
Able to continue
Because the grace in her
Was greater than the fear in me.

Apparently

We give those we love
Power to destroy us.
All others we protect against.
All others are kept distant.

Those we love
Know how weak
How vulnerable we are.

We show them our tender places
Where the blood is most near the surface.
We give the ones we love the poison
Most lethal
We put the knife
The gun
In their hands
The words
On their lips
The traitor’s caress
In their touch.

Strangers have never pained me.
But the ones I love
Have grievously wounded me
Again and again.

And I foolishly give them
Opportunity
To do it right next time.

Apparently
I would rather die
Than pretend I am not loved
As much as I love.

I Did Not Blink

The night was like iron
On the platform
Where the offender and I waited.

A point of light
A mile down track
Marked the inbound train.

My thoughts hung
Like mist
In the midnight air.

I thought of his brutality
The scars on the body
Of his wife.

I thought of the damage
To her trembling soul
Her fractured heart.

He was apprehended
Before he began
A fresh assault.

I trembled too.
Not because of fear.
I shook with murder.

Rage pulsed within.
I hated this man
This creature beside me.

I wanted him in a cold cell
But he had yet
To inflict his fresh hell.

We were moving him
Down the tracks
Out of town.

Be careful
I said
You may fall
In front of that train.
The engineer can’t see you.
You’ll die.
You'll be dead.

Dead.
Dead.

He laughed at me.
I grabbed his arm fiercely
Shifting him toward the edge
Of the platform
My left shoulder
Shoving into his right.
The train’s bell clanged
The smell of diesel
And a fresh chill
Having nothing to do with the cold
Filled the air.

Bile rose from my gut
To the back of my throat
The silver and blue engine
Growing as large as my hate.

The engine passed.
The Metra slowed
Then stopped
The door sliding open.
Florescent light
Poured out
Like blood gushing
From the wounds of his wife.

The monster stepped inside
Turning toward me.

Could you really do it?
He asked.

I did not blink
Until the door closed
And he was gone.

Only My Eyes

A ghost haunts these halls
She wafts through the night
She dances these walls
An ethereal light.

Her vanilla scent
Hangs in the air
Wherever she went
That fragrance was there.

I still hear the sound
Of her playful laugh
As we lay on the ground
Near the pond, off the path.

My lips feel her kiss
My body her touch
And, oh how I miss
Her loving so much!

That was long ago
But this is today
And this thing I know
She won’t go away.

I’ve been on my knees
Seeking for grace
For mercy upon mercy
To forget her face.

As the lights dim tonight
She will return to me
And glow in that light
Only my eyes may see.

Who Was That Man?

Who was that man
Dancing with you
As the sun slowly eased
To the sea?

Who was that man?
I know in my heart
Whoever he was
He was not me.

Who was that man
That lay with you
In ebony nights
So long ago?

Who was that man
That followed you
No matter when or where
You might go?

Who was that man
With your name on his lips
Who craved your
Taste and your scent?

Whoever he was
He’s lost to you now
He’s gone
And you can’t know where he went.