Sheer Stupidity*

He might have had a knife.
He might have had a gun.
He could have opened my belly
To the flashing morning sun.

But I stood my ground
And stared him in the eye
And never let it move me
That I was about to die.

The rage I kept in check
Surged within my heart
And I knew the fight was on
And this was the place to start.

I had him by ten pounds
But he clearly had the trigger
And the way that this could go
Was not too difficult to figure.

In for a dime, in for a dollar
So I decided to up the ante
And I told him I'd rip his guts out
And stuff them down his panty.

That clearly jacked him up.
He turned red and began to sputter.
I realized this may work out
If I could reduce this guy to butter.

He said I better watch my back
‘Cuz he was one dangerous dude.
So I told him that was impolite
And he was downright rude.

I offered my home address
Encouraged him to write it down
And said something about his mother
Then called him a goofy clown.

That’s when the amazing happened.
He turned and walked away.
I played poker and won
And lived to fight another day.

But in terms of sheer stupidity
This was the dumbest thing I’d done.
Just because you walk away
Doesn’t mean you’ve really won.

*(Yeah. True story. My stupidity is boundless)