Close Enough to the Bottom Line

I wanted to go home
Sleep it off
But you saw something I didn't.
Got help.
An hour later
I was fighting for my life.

I admit
Sometimes I wish I’d lost.
But I’ve learned something in the struggle.
When it’s as bad as it can be…

When the wolf has me by the cuff
When the wind’s howling and my blood’s thin
When she says no and I’d die for yes
When my last dollar goes for my last gallon
When nothing’s looking back across the table
When tomorrow's what I need but now’s what I want
When the pain sears like fire and no help’s coming
When the skies are brass
And the water’s rising…

Life is worth the fight.

I’ve learned persistence
To stand when it’s so easy to fall
The urgency to resist
Dig in and wait for morning.

To remain.

Were I to fall
What of those behind me?
If I yield
What of those who cannot fight?
If I say yes
What of those who need me to say no?
If I go
What of those who depend upon me to stay?

I’m not ready to sum my life
But I’m close enough to the bottom line to say this…

Life is good even when it’s bad
Necessary when it seems it isn't
Sweet even when it tastes bitter
Tender when it feels tough
Desirable even when the luster's lost
And life is rarely
So rarely
Almost never
About me.