A Glimpse at the Monarch

Several have asked about my Monarch Butterfly. I have also referred to her as my “Ghost.” She is at the core of much of my poetry, though I am uncertain she knows. Maybe she visits this site. I don’t know. She will always be my muse.

Thirteen years ago I was in bad shape. A traumatic brain injury, while not robbing me of physical abilities, did leave me in extreme neural pain. Often the pain would mimic a heart attack, and leave me writhing in agony. I was alone in a world of hurt. Admiral Hyman Rickover famously said, “God, your sea is so big, and my boat is so small.” I understood that. And then came Monarch. She flitted into my life with grace and ease. But I was a bitter, hard man, packed with anger and disillusion. I trusted no one. But Monarch loved me. She did so without boundary, and loved me with grace and ease. She was cold water to a parched man. I loved her. We were together less than a year. Most things transitional are also sudden. Her gift to me was not in letting me love her. That was easy. Her gift was teaching me I was worth loving. She restored my dignity. The man I’ve become is due to Monarch. I learned love’s amazing truth…if you can let one person love you, you can also open yourself to the world.

Monarch’s are migratory in nature. And like her namesake, she could not stay. Neither could I impose my will upon her. She left on a Christmas Eve. I have neither seen, nor heard from her since. But she changed me. I wish I could tell you more. The story begs revelation, and were it up to me, I’d tear away the veil and let you see her in all her beauty. But I promised her I would hold her in my heart, for me only. A gentleman keeps his promises. But when you read my love poems, you’ll see Monarch in my garden. It’s best to let the regal creatures fly. They are much more pleasing when they paint the sky with color. They are not so beautiful with their wings pinned, lifeless, under glass.

Thank you for your kind expressions concerning my craft. I enjoy sharing my thoughts, and it gratifies me if you can see something of yourself in my words. I've learned the world is often cold, and dangerous. But it can also be beautiful and amazing. We live between the extremes. I wish you beauty. I wish you peace. But most of all, I wish you love. You're worth it.

~~ James