Fiddle Dee Dee

She sat across the table
And said nary a word
Though she’d protested loudly
That her voice be heard.

Her lawyer shuffled papers
And adjusted his soiled tie
As he peered over greasy glasses
Thinking he had bigger fish to fry.

I sat there by myself.
I could not afford representation.
I prayed hard and wished harder
For just a little bit of salvation.

The lawyer asked how much I made;
The gross amount bi-weekly.
I crunched some numbers in my brain
Shrinking into my seat, so meekly.

I explained I had a part time job
And it took everything I earned
Just to keep flesh on my bones
As I prepared to get burned.

“Perfect!” Exclaimed her lawyer.
"That’s all we need to know.
Just put all your income in the mail
And we’re all set to go!”

“But…but,” I said so boldly
“There’ll be nothing left for me!”
I gulped hard as the lawyer said
“We don’t give a freaking Fiddle Dee Dee.”

I now tell you all my story
In the hopes it will forewarn you
When you’re in a stupor over another
Be careful what you do.

Never make any money
And never ever buy a thing
Or you’ll pay thousands times more in spousal support
Than you ever spent on a ring!