I Remember*

I remember
Snow so white
Pure
And cold
That numbness
Came as a mercy
After the first moments
Of icy agony.

Once or twice an hour
I sat in the cab of my truck
Hands under the heater
Tears streaming my cheeks
With the pain of exposure
Psyching myself to go out again
To carry on to completion.

Small flakes struck my windshield
Fine as talcum powder
Only to instantly resolve
To droplets
At the warmth of my defroster.

I remember
Tiny flakes fluttered to earth
Like millions of parachutes
Covering urban streets
With a crystalline blanket
Covering city grit
In a holy shroud
Muting busses
Taxis and trains
Exacting a price of pain
To exposed flesh.

I remember
Marveling
That each tiny flake was unique
Not another like it
Among the millions
Piled
Against garbage cans
Against locked doorways
Against derelict cars
Against naked winter shrubs
Against high line poles
Against winos asleep in cardboard boxes
Dying one second at a time
Numb with cold.

I remember
Chicago ice
Glazing rungs of the ladder
I would climb
Making treacherous the ledges I would walk
Frosting the high voltage lines I would negotiate
Deadening the fingers I would use
My gloves too clumsy to be of benefit.

I remember
The hushed moments
In my truck at day’s end
Sitting in the silence of gathering gloom
My breath rising as vapor in the frigid cab
Grateful I had completed my job
Praying I would successfully
Do it all over again
The next day
And the next.

I remember it all.
And I still shiver.



* It seems my recent thoughts are weather-related...however the seasons of earth are deeply attached to the seasons of life. I am at the place where that kind of reflection is increasingly common. Can I get a witness?