Before the Ambulance*

I lay my head
Against the leather headrest
Closed my eyes
And considered ways
To remain conscious.

All around, people scurried
From parked vehicles
Into stores along the highway.

The length of my extremities
Seemed unusually warm.
Too relaxed.
Far too relaxed.
My mind seemed to extend
And retract
Although this very notion
Seemed strange.

I wondered whether
I might stay conscious
By concentrating
On minutia....
The sweep second hand of my watch
My radio
My dashboard's glowing lights
The steady hum of the idling motor.

Opening a stick of gum
I put it in my mouth
Enjoying the zestful spearmint flavor.
Perhaps, if I tried
To stimulate as many of my senses
As possible.
Think. Think.
What are they?
What are my senses?

My head seemed encased
In a warm
Pleasant fog
Of something ethereal.
It was inviting
And I wanted to yield
To its comfort and welcome.

My engine's bass hum
Receded.
The radio blurred.
My dashboard lights dimmed.
My watch's second hand ran out of seconds.

Where was I?
Why was I here?
Why couldn’t I remember?
What time is it?
What day?

I stopped chewing the gum.
It tumbled from my mouth
Onto my lap.

I was so warm.
So safe.
So very warm


*Several weeks ago I was found slumped at the wheel of my truck, in a bank parking lot. Paramedics rushed me to a hospital, where I remained "out" the rest of the day, and some of the night. A full battery of tests were run, all proving inconclusive. Now I grow nervous whenever I feel sleepy. Strange. I wish they'd found something to treat. Not knowing what my "enemy" is seems ominous. Whatever it is, its strategy is painless. Interesting...pain could be a friend, if it indicates a root problem. As it remains, every yawn is now suspect. Not complaining...just reporting.