Invisible Man*

I shaved my beard
To see who would notice
And was shocked
That nobody did.
It was a full beard!
It’s not like I’m a child
Or little peach-fuzzed
Pimple-faced kid.

I may saw off my leg

Or lop off my head
To see if people
Notice me then.
I could set myself afire
Or blow myself up
Or jump from a ledge
Or drink a barrel of gin.

But it doesn’t matter.

I know the cause
The reason nobody
Notices me now.
When I turned sixty
I slid from the grid.
Invisibility requires one thing... 
Just keep having birthdays. That’s how!


* For the record, I'm growing my beard back. Screw 'em.