my mission

sheep have followed me
since i was a teenager
trying hard to please the eyes
of the elders watching me.

along the pathway they conferred on me
certain papers
testifying to other elders
i am leadership material.
untold hours of late night studies
and tens of thousands of road miles
in pursuit of qualification 
eventually earned me certain letters
before my name.

and the sheep i was given
rested each evening
in the shelter my hands prepared.
and each evening i felt the approval
of the One i served
though often the sheep bleated their displeasure
within the confines of their safety
and provision.
no matter, that.
i was never in their employ
though they thought otherwise.

i took those letters seriously
and eventually burned through my health
and the devotion of my family
who left me the way shadows flee 
thunderstorms.

yet, i have those letters
though i long-ago lost the papers.
nobody asks for them any longer.
if you cannot determine a man's value
by the caliber of his soul
papers will tell you nothing.

and now, i near the end of things.
i measure time remaining 
at best
in the margins of several calendar pages
or at least
in the lithium battery in my clock.

no matter.
i have kept the faith.
i have completed my course.
and laid up for me
is the approval of my Captain. 

he will not ask my papers
or test the odometer to determine
the truth of my journey.
he will, rather usher me into my rest
and confer upon me
one final appropriation...
his mark upon my forehead.

and i will finally have completed 
my mission.
i will have arrived home.