Panama City

I close my eyes
And I’m back in the sand
On Florida’s gulf coast
The sun hung like an orange
In the denim sky.
Radio chatter stained the day
Along the beach.

The salty breeze, tart on my tongue
Sand warm between my toes
Lulled me to believe
Peace was possible
And life secure.

The surf murmured gently
And gulls parked overhead
Crying noisily
Above bronzed bathers.

You strolled at water’s edge
The gulf lapping your toes
Coppery hair tossing in the sun.
I watched you.
Your eyes toward the horizon
It was difficult
To separate sky and water.

It was difficult to separate you and me, too
But you managed.

Years later I burned every photo of you
Shredded every letter and card
Destroyed every momento
Working to scrub your memory.

But that’s impossible.

All I need do is close my eyes
And Panama City returns you
Every memory feeding on my heart
Like the gulls
Calling me to remember
What I would pay to forget.