Flash Fire*

Placing the small white pill
Under my tongue
I begged God
To let it work quickly.

Sharp
Burning pain radiated
All along the edges
Of my body.

Like a blaze
It was fast eating its way
To my interior
Roasting every cell it seized.

It felt like a dying.

I clenched my fists
Not just in resolution
But as though I could
By effort of the will
Squeeze the torment
From me.

The fire raged in defiance.
The fire found its voice:
I hate you.
I will kill you.
I will kill you now.

The searing burn
Erupted in
Flash fire.

I begged God for relief
As I chased the first pill
With a second.
With a third.

And I waited.

Minutes later
The fire won.

But I no longer cared.

I was far away
On the moon’s craggy
Talcum-dusted orb.

I saw my body
From a great distance
And pitied my writhing flesh.

But I was not there.


*Any reader who has suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury will understand perfectly. Can I get a witness?