Memorizing and Remembering

I run my hand through her
Long wet hair
Trying to memorize
The silky thickness
The way it tangles in my hand
The fragrance rising
From her shampoo
And conditioner.

Sunlight from the small window
Flashes upon her hair
Highlighting every hue
And color
The sienna of wheat lands
Flame
Amber and gold
That evoke memory of
The Sangre de Christos
Of Mexico.

She smiles gently
Asks what I am doing.
I tell her I am
Memorizing and remembering.

Remembering what? She asks.

I tell her
I do not know.
That it will come to me
Eventually.
But how can I properly explain?

Her hair reminds me of
Mountain gold
Glinting sun on wild rivers
Sparks rising
From hickory fires
Something lost
Irretrievable
Long ago.

Why memorize? She asks.

When I speak I am surprised
At the frailty in my voice
In the halting manner
In which truth is often born.

Because you will leave
I tell her.

She buries her head
Between my chin and chest.
I feel her breath
Warm and heavy
Against my skin.
Her hands drop the towel
Her arms encircling my body
Tightly.

I am never leaving
She says quietly.

But she will.
So I memorize her scent
The warm softness of her
The way her hair drapes my arms
And I think of wheat lands
And fire on the mountains.