If You See Her

She meant nothing to me.
No feelings were involved.
It was just an encounter.
A thing
If you know what I mean.

I don’t care if I see her again.
It doesn’t matter to me.
She went her way
I mine
And that’s just fine.

I hardly ever think of her.
There’re better things to do.
I keep myself busy
You know?
Now, I’ve really gotta go.

What? Are these tears in my eyes?
You think my eyes are red?
Come on, get serious.
It’s just the rain.
I never feel the pain.

She was just another woman.
To her I was just some guy.
But if you see her
Don’t say
You saw me today.

Let’s just leave it at that
If it’s all the same to you.
I’m having a little trouble
Swallowing.
But no, she didn’t mean a thing.

Fire and Flash

If you’ll throw
A blanket on the ground
And lay back in the night
The entire Milky Way
Will blaze and sparkle
For you.

It’ll dance and shimmer
On a scale so massive
You’ll go a full sixty seconds
Forgetting to breathe.

Look around.

The dewy grass
Begins to sparkle
In bright
Phosphorescence
As fireflies burst
In golden splashes
Of light
Challenging the sky
To a duel of color.

Stars in the sky
And flashes in the grass
Challenge a response to their
Dazzle.

It’s then you realize
Your heart is on fire
And you answer creation
By your own
Ruddy blush.

There is a remedy
In night skies
Fiery grasses
And heart glow.

It’s healing all around.

Splinters

Didja ever getta splinter
Deep down in
Yer skin?
‘Cuz if ya have
Ya un’erstand
How festering begins.

It swolls all up
And fills full
Of pus
An’ creates
A stir
Of caution and fuss.

Ya jab it
With needles
Tweezers and knife
An’ before ya
Know it
Ya b’lieve it’ll take yer life.

Better watch
For them splinters
That dig an’ poke
‘Cuz if’n ya don’t
You’ll fill full'a poison
And croak!

The Prayer of a Dying Man

God
This opening
And closing of files
Is poison
To my soul.
I’m weary of keyboards
Staff meetings
Protocols
And tracking systems.

God
I’m done with
Intake and outtakes
Sick of reports
Endless meetings
And the bleating
Of office sheep.

God
Deliver me
From back stabbers
Credit grabbers
Liars
Thieves and cheats
And the shuffling
Of weary feet.

God
I need some air
In my lungs
Some iron
In my spirit
A place free
Of electronic fences
And pass codes.

God
Enough of
Bull shitters
And nit-pickers.
Enough of
Cubicles
And corporate
Popsicles.

God
I’m not so naive
As to think
There are
Any open prairies
Or homes on the range
Remaining
But if there’s anything
Even close
Please
Oh, God
Please
Take me there.

Breathe Free

It’s been too long
Since I’ve had
A pony
Under my butt
Her mane blowing
In the wind
Tail streaming like a banner.

I miss saddle leather squeaking
Reins slapping
Cool rain in my face.
The clomping of
Hard hooves against
The earth
Open land stretching before me.

If you’ve never known
The muscle
The withers of a horse
You’ve missed
A mystery in motion
A union
Of beauty and brawn.

When a man sits a saddle
He’s at peace within himself.
Talking to his pony
With the nudge
Of a knee
He knows what it is
To breathe free.

Essential

I climb into the shower
Let the water burn
Into my skin
Pour over my shoulders
And soak me
Deep within.

There’s something spiritual
About a shower.
It enlivens me
Invigorates my heart
And helps my soul
To breathe.

I never sing in the shower.
I don’t have
Much of a voice.
But I spend my time
Reflecting.
It’s an easy choice.

Every morning is a ritual
A routine
For each new day.
It’s a necessary kicker
An essential
That’ll never go away.

All Things of the Season

Maple fire
Oak leaf blaze
And autumn’s falling down.
Children shuffle
Through the leaves
As the wind whirls all around.

Jacket weather
Frosty mornings
A steaming mug of coffee
All things
Of the season
Connect the earth to me.

I feel the world
Inside me
The glory of each day
As I settle in
To gather
All I must not throw away.

Close Enough to the Bottom Line

I wanted to go home
Sleep it off
But you saw something I didn't.
Got help.
An hour later
I was fighting for my life.

I admit
Sometimes I wish I’d lost.
But I’ve learned something in the struggle.
When it’s as bad as it can be…

When the wolf has me by the cuff
When the wind’s howling and my blood’s thin
When she says no and I’d die for yes
When my last dollar goes for my last gallon
When nothing’s looking back across the table
When tomorrow's what I need but now’s what I want
When the pain sears like fire and no help’s coming
When the skies are brass
And the water’s rising…

Life is worth the fight.

I’ve learned persistence
To stand when it’s so easy to fall
The urgency to resist
Dig in and wait for morning.

To remain.

Were I to fall
What of those behind me?
If I yield
What of those who cannot fight?
If I say yes
What of those who need me to say no?
If I go
What of those who depend upon me to stay?

I’m not ready to sum my life
But I’m close enough to the bottom line to say this…

Life is good even when it’s bad
Necessary when it seems it isn't
Sweet even when it tastes bitter
Tender when it feels tough
Desirable even when the luster's lost
And life is rarely
So rarely
Almost never
About me.

Dear Enemy*

This is my ground.
I know where the land slopes
Where it rises
Where the sink holes are
Every stand of timber
And rocky outcropping.

I know where the ambushes lay.

There are places on this land
Where sound is muted
And where echoes reverberate.

Like I said
This is my ground.

The surprising thing is you know this
Yet still choose to meet me on ground
I haunt.

You are a very foolish man.

If you survive you will learn about terrain.
You will learn…
Not to fight uphill
That your rear is as exposed as your front
That rapid death comes from the oblique of your flank
That warriors perish from failure to look up
That every step you make is a commitment
That in battle things roll up faster than down
That with your back to a wall you have but two options on a 3D field
That all ground is multi-dimensional
That weather changes terrain in unexpected ways
That failure to adjust to changes insure slaughter
That you should never prepare for what your enemy is able to do
But that for which your enemy is willing to do.

A fierce old cavalry commander once said
Victory goes to the one that
"Gets there the firstest with the mostest."

I'm coming for you.
Now.
With everything.

But don’t worry about anything.
By the time you see me it'll be over.
Keep pretending I'm not around.

You made a mistake
When you violated the woman
I have sworn to protect.

You have chosen hard ground.
How unfortunate.

Dear Enemy
Thank you for coming.

Have a nice day.

(* To the man who assaulted my wife)

Involuntary Fireman

Morning creeps
Along the edges
Of my blind
Around the edges
Of my consciousness.

I push at it
Resisting the inevitable
Not wanting to feel
Pain's carefully scripted
Ambush.

How insistent
Is morning
Refusing to wait
Intruding upon
My need for wellness.

The burn sears
My extremities
Scorching my limbs
Charing more deeply
As alarm bells sound in my brain.

Along the edges
Of the blind
Morning brightens the room
In a rose wash
The color of day.

I cover my face
Screw tight my eyelids
Hoping to retard the demand
That only an involuntary fireman
Could know.