A Haunting

My windows are filled with night.
Car tires hiss from wet pavement.
From the bedroom radio:
If it makes you happy
It can’t be that bad.
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell am I so sad?

You are present in absence.
I experience you
Like a hovering ghost
Haunting this space
Between my ears
My belly
Fingertips
Soles of my feet
Empty arms.

I search from dark windows
Twist in rumpled bedding
Step across creaking floorboards.
Because I hear you
Feel you under my palms
See your shadow chasing mine
Taste you on my tongue
Smell your warm body.

I hurt
In every corner of this house
Sigh
From every doorway…

Until my eyes get used to
Not seeing you.