This Feeling

I kept a pillow
Over my face
As long as possible
Before joining the rat race.

Stumbling into the kitchen
I turned on the brew
Made a mental list
Of the things I have to do.

Staring out the window
Into the early morning fog
I open the back door
And then let out my dog.

I sit at the table
With my cup in my hand
Take a look at my finger
At my missing wedding band.

These days begin the same
With the things we used to do
But the change has been enormous
Things old seem always new.

I try to keep her off my mind
Off what we used to be
But twenty years of being “us”
Has come down to only “me.”

In an hour I’ll walk out that door
And tell myself I’m okay
But the cold, hard truth is
I may not make it through the day.

Now the sun’s burning off the fog
But my mind’s still in a cloud
I keep my feelings to myself
But sometimes I talk right out loud.

God, maybe I’m going crazy
Maybe this is more than I can do
But I have this feeling deep inside
That I better cling to You.