Nobody's Gonna Die

I’m just sitting by my window
Watching people pass
Wondering what it’ll take
To light a fire 'neath my ass.

I have homicide in my heart
And it would be so fine
To get him in my sights
Down the barrel of my nine.

I feel the need for violence
The gouging of his eyes
The rending of his flesh
Or reading him poetry 'til he dies!

I could be the Cheyenne warrior
Who thrilled at counting coup.
Or conjure the Dark Arts
A blend of Haitian Voo Doo.

My rage has been provoked
And I’m capable of harm.
I could rip apart his head
Tear off a leg, or arm.

But we both know the outcome.
I must behave myself.
I'll ice-down my rage
And put it all back on the shelf.

I don't need that kinda judgment
I don't want to go to hell
Nor am I looking to check in
To the old Gray Bar Hotel.

But I do declare there’s days
I feel I’m right out of the Old West
With a Remington on my hip
And a star pinned to my chest.

Ah, hell, who am I kidding?
I’m just an ordinary guy.
And there’s no reason for concern.
Nobody’s gonna die.

But for the fool to whom I'm referring:
Although you haven’t died
When you’re walking down my street
You best stay on the other side.