A Cottonwood Lesson

I staggered out of our double-wide
Hoppin’ up on the tailgate of my ‘ol truck
With head in hands, full of misery
Contemplatin’ my fate, destiny, and luck.

You took every stick of furniture
Even took my ‘ol hound dog, Blue
Emptied all the money from our cookie jar
Took everything we had, old and new.

Dang it, girl, I know where you went.
You’re chasing down that four lane double nickel.
You’re pointing’ your little Chevy south
Red lips poutin’, like you’ve been suckin’ on a pickle.

I sat there, both hatin’ and cursin’ you
Talking to myself, with a hitch in my voice
When a shout like lightening and thunder
Told me I had to make a choice.

I lifted my eyes to the heavens
Askin’ God what he wanted of me.
He commanded me to go cut myself a switch
And I would very soon see.

So, I unsheathed my deer knife
Went over to a big ‘ol cottonwood
Cut myself a long, green switch
Thinkin’ if a pole could catch trout, this’n should.

God and I went down to the fishin’ hole.
I brought us some hooks and a spool of line.
I dug up some big, fat, juicy worms
That I believed would suit us fine.

About that time God spoke again.
He said I’d picked the perfect tree
But he and I weren’t goin’ fishin,’ he said
And the Lord bent me over his knee.

He took that switch I’d selected
And gave me a good old fashioned spankin’.
He said all the havoc in our marriage
Was of my very own makin’.

He said he’d see you give me one more chance
To make our marriage work.
He also said I had some growing up to do
Be a man, and stop actin’ like a jerk.

So, baby, here I stand on bended knee
Hopin’ you’ll take me back again.
Seems I only thought I had all the cards
But this ain’t a game I wanna win.

Baby, please come on back with all our stuff.
And don’t forget to bring my ‘ol dog, Blue.
Bring back whatever’s left in your cookie jar
But most of all, babe, don’t forget to bring back you!