All Things Being Equal

I was a bored little boy
Playing at the feet of my parents
In my aunt and uncle’s Arkansas home.
They began their visit
About the same time
God made dirt.

Then I heard the words
I’d waited for.
My dad was the speaker
And he used
Southern Speak:

“Come, go with us.”

I waited for the proper reply.
And it came:

“Reckon we better not.”

With that said
I began looking for my shoes.

Then came the setback I’d feared:

“How’s old (insert name here)?”

This required a protracted ramble
Through family history
Which necessitated the insertion
Of any new information
Of all activity on the subject’s part
Since the Korean War.

Then dad said:

“Well, thanks for having us.”

To which my uncle had to say:

“Don’t see why you need to go so soon.”

This would cause my dad to look down
At my brother and me, saying:

“These boys are getting restless.”

Restless?
I was nearly comatose.

My parents helped us boys to the car
Only to be followed by my aunt and uncle.
Several additional parting ceremonies were conducted
But I had mercifully fallen asleep.

At breakfast the next morning
My father said to my mother:

"Boy those people sure can talk."

I mentioned that everything any person said
Was always followed
By a mandatory response
From the one being addressed.
Therefore
In any conversation
All things are equal.

Dad said:
"You sure gotta smart mouth on you, son."

To which I replied:
"Thank you, Dad!"

Mom always spanked with a switch
Dad with his hand.

All things are never equal