How Funny

It was an amazing sunset
The kind that forms tears
In the corners of my eyes.

I had very recently been abandoned
After twenty eight years
Of a very troubled marriage.

I felt like ash.
I felt that way constantly.

Coming from a meeting
With the police brass
I was still in uniform
As I fell into my lawn chair.

I had an open bottle
Of red wine
I bought years ago
From a little place
I occasionally visited.
I am not a very good drinker
But a little wine seemed about right
This evening.

I looked at the sun.
Beautiful.
But it was also alone.

I took a sip.
Then a sip more.

The golden orb of the sun
Sparked from the thinning branches
Of my maple tree.

It was becoming chilly
So I huddled deeper into my blue jacket.
It felt wrong to drink wine
While still wearing the badge.
But I was alone.
Nobody would notice.
Who would care?

Hell, I was always alone.

This time I took a long pull
From the shapely bottle.
Then another.
And another.

I drank half the bottle
And didn’t feel a thing.

Weak wine.

Hell
I drank it all.
The whole thing.
It was about as potent as grape soda.

I didn’t even notice
The sun had set.
In fact it had become full night.

I must have fallen asleep.
The bottle
Still in my hand
Was amazingly empty.
And weirdly funny.

Damn weak wine.

I stood up.
Or, I tried to stand up.

I fell flat on my face.

I started to laugh.
Laugh hilariously.
I crawled all the way
To my back door
Laughing all the way.

The grass was wet with dew.
My uniform would need dry cleaning.

That seemed so funny!
I laughed again.

I crawled into my bedroom.
I crawled into bed
My badge catching
On the blanket.
That was funny!
So I laughed.

The empty bottle
Remained in my right hand.
How funny!
So I laughed.

Tomorrow I would write that winery
And tell them how weak their damn wine is.

And I laughed.
Then I slept for twelve hours.

Damn weak wine.
How funny.