Neanderthal’s Date

I rode in on a Mastodon

And checked my club at the door.

I grunted to the hostess

And kept my eyes on the floor.

She was seated by the fire

Slowly sipping her wine.

I adjusted my bearskin coat

Thinking she was looking fine.

I ordered a glass of what she had

And wiped the sweat from my brow

Looking through the menu

Hoping for a side of rare cow.

I hadn’t done this in a long time.

We sat in silence all through our date

As I thought about what’s next

Considering my ultimate fate.

She finally said she was going to the restroom

And excused herself from the table.

But she never came back

And I decided her excuse was pure fable.

My Mastodon was double parked

So, I paid the check with some shells and beads

And dragged another dude’s date out

‘Cuz even a caveman has needs!