is that the one?*

Every pill I take is a bullet
fired right into my brain.
the damage is consistent.
it will leave me dead or insane.

i fall back into my bed
waiting for the pills to tame the pain.
sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.
either way i fry in this flame.

i examine each one carefully
wondering if that is the one
that will shove me across the line
and declare that i am done.

damn this injury, and damn this burn
and, for not knowing what to do
you may say
damn me too.

*TBI's don't show on the outside. But on the inside they can make wailing misery.